February 13, 2013

I often get irritated with Bret for not taking an interest in my professional life.  “Why don’t you ask me more questions?” “I have access to valuable resources, but it seems like you could care less!” I get upset because my perception is that he doesn’t take this seriously, which I see through a lack of attention or willingness to commit whole heartedly to this process I deem invaluable (key words here: my perception, I see, I deem).  So, as I bickered yet again this evening about his lack of interest in my work, I remembered that key principle I preach so often to others: what you perceive as hurting you from the outside is an invitation to heal inside.  So, I took a break from the discussion and pondered what could be needing attention from within me.  Hm.

I have been finding it very hard to stay focused throughout the day.  I find myself distracted by social media and other blogs. Even though I know it’s proper etiquette to read, like and follow bloggers who show you love, I’m finding that it drains me.  In addition, trying to keep up with facebook, twitter, Linked In, etc., yikes.  There’s so many different sites to log in to, post information on, keep updated on peoples’ lives, and support by browsing, liking and repinning.

I recently received a social media evaluation from an online promoter that I found extremely helpful in identifying how I am branding myself and how I can increase client numbers.  But, as soon as I got to the suggestion, “Pinterest is a vital force in a marketing campaign, yet you don’t have one.  Why is that?”  Sigh.  I was exhausted just from considering adding one more site to track and visit.  In recognizing my exhaustion from social media, I also recognize the discontent that my heart feels in spending so much time on the internet, even if it is promoting my business.

I am not valuing the very knowledge that I hold sacred.  I am not giving attention to or showing a willingness to commit, whole heartedly, to this process I deem invaluable.  It’s not Bret who I’m upset with… it’s me!  He is reflecting for me the discontent I feel around making changes to my schedule and my attention.  I am not giving the Dream Builder program, my book (Lessons from Los Angeles: Observations of a Non-actor), or my coaching programs the attention they deserve.  Whether it’s social media or other blogs, rather than appropriately using them as a catapult towards the life I dream of living, they’re becoming a mountain between my dream and myself. 

The very thought of really scheduling my day makes me quiver.  I’m more of a spontaneous planner, completing tasks as I please.  However, I have recently discovered this nifty setting that will automatically publish this post to every social media outlet I can imagine.  Incredible!  Thank you, technology, for giving me a resource to not overuse you.  So, with a bit of extra time every day, I can spend some time writing my book, listening to Morning Mentor videos, designing my coaching programs, and getting outside of this house.  And, by holding those tasks as top priority, I have a feeling I’ll feel inspired to use social media and others’ blogs in a new way that support my dream, rather than disrupt it.

To being honest with yourself.

With love,

Amanda

PS – My dearest Bret, thank you for giving me these opportunities to heal.  Thank you for being patient and forgiving, and for supporting every blog post, every sentence written, and every dream imagined.